End of 2005 Blog

Actually wanted to wake up early to watch the sun rise, but remembered the sun rose in the east and I stayed in the west. Then decided it might be a nice thing to watch the sun set, but it started pissing rain, and got so murky I couldn't see ten feet outside.

On the other hand, watching the remnants of fireworks drop off from the sky on tv like huge brightly-lit sperm makes my day a helluva lot brighter.

Tomorrow, 2.5k warm-up, followed by a 7.5 follow through. According to my plan, I should be at 17k now, but thanks to procrastination, I've been just phailing at running.

I've already written out my new year resolutions. Last year's was :

1. To do well in Japanese Course
Check - Although not in the top 10, at least I think I did relatively well.

2. To run a Half Marathon
Check - not a good timing, but I ran it, and now know I can run it. Excellent.

3. To take part in Kumite
Gave this up after finding out my sensei never intended me to actually fight. Also, quit karate.

4. To learn Kata up to Seipai
Check. Granted, I've also forgotten it now =_= but at least I managed to learn it. So I know 4 -5 katas now. Not bad for a 5th Kyu.

5. To train and maintain agility and speed
Hm...this is very relative, but I think it hasn't declined too much. So Check.

6. To become stronger
Hm...Check. Though I know I haven't reached my limits yet. Still a ways to go, Kerio.

7. To be more diplomatic
Check. Compared to a few years back, I'm doing very well. At least I don't glare at my colleagues anymore.

8. To be more outspoken
Hm...Fail.

9. To read more
Have managed to run through Dune, Harry Potter and TLOTR, as well as a few other books.

10. To commence serious work on Elven Chronicles
Definitely, fail. Not even seriously touched it this year, except once in June, and I didn't get very far.

11. To learn to handle Depersonalisation
Check, definitely. Knowing what I'm fighting has at least given me a name to the demon.

My new year's resolutions for 06 will be posted after 12, since posting it now seems strange.

Want to go out....think the only time when I can afford to do so will be when I'm in my early 30s, when I can actually afford to spend money on these things.

Already 27, and single for 10 years now. Hsun Miao was the last stead I had, and it ran for 4 years (13-16 from 1991 -1995) before we realised we weren't right for each other.

Strangely, I don't feel any urgent need to bond. In fact, knowing myself, I think I might just stay single for life. I very seriously doubt if I'll ever find someone for myself, given my vague expectation that the person will "Understand" me. Fat chance when even I am trying to understand myself, or at least accept my own inadequacies.

The deciding year will be 2010, when I reach (hopefully) financial stability and hopefully will be able to live the way I want to. Given my current way of life, I'd probably be 35 before I even find myself a girlfriend, heh. But in fact, all of that is secondary to being able to live well.

Bottomline : If I want to provide for a girlfriend, I must at least be able to provide for myself.